


in another life

by janrey



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hugs, Jeno and Jaehyun are Brothers, Kisses, M/M, No Blood, death isn't graphic, fictional death, kinda slow burn, the brothers are cousins with doyoung, work au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28914711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janrey/pseuds/janrey
Summary: We live in a life where not everything we want, we get; although, it hurts much more when what we want is a who, and that who is a friend. Do you confess? Or do you hide your emotions?Also:“Every action has its equal opposite reaction.”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	in another life

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [friday nights](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23965612) by [dochiwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dochiwrites/pseuds/dochiwrites). 



> Hello!! This is my first au and attempt at uploading on ao3 so please bear with me if I have made a mistake in the tags or whatever it could be. I’d like to thank ate bee / dochiwrites for giving me the motivation to write this after I shared my idea, and apparently, I wrote it aaaaa | Lastly, I made slight references to her works too! Please check that out! I’ll link it. I hope to write and release more of my works in the future too!

**I. A Call for Help**

“It’s just, I’m overthinking everything,” Taeyong blurted out. “I’ve created this preconception that I did do those nasty rumors, yet I know to myself I didn’t…”

Taeyong has been an idol for barely over a year, yet somehow, he has been hated on, even for breathing. He has already been on every fan’s mouth, whether a hater or a fan of a different group.

“I’m sorry that I can’t stop those people. I’d gladly shut them up and provide evidence, but not everything can go my way…” Doyoung answered on the phone.

“Just remember that you know what is true and not. That you remember that they are just trying to ruin your reputation and image. That YOU are a good person and have moved on and learnt from what you have already apologized for and continue to reflect on.” Doyoung reassured him.

Doyoung happens to be a psychologist. He’s been working for three years, but he just couldn’t help Taeyong professionally. Why? Well, it’s not a good idea to have someone whom you are close with as a patient. 

As insensitive as it may seem, it’s for the safety and professionalism of the psychologist, because you have to consider the fact that it’ll be hard to be objective with the person when you know the person, and when you can become emotional in trying to do so.

In this case, Doyoung knew Taeyong since they were training in their respective fields at the same year and university, so it was hard for Doyoung to suppress crying.

“Doyoung~ah”

“Hm?”

“How do you put up with me?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Why do you still help me? Why don’t you tell me to just tolerate it? Why are you making time for me?”

These bombarded questions of Yong almost made Doyoung reevaluate himself; although, it didn’t take him a while to answer.

“What more can I say besides I care for you. It’s my pleasure to help anyone I could. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I wouldn’t want to dismiss your problems, and to tolerate something you get affected by is like a parasite entering your body.

“It spreads inside of you and eats you up before you know it. Why am I making time for you? Please, you’re one of my closest friends I’ve always cared about and checked up on. I can’t stop you from second-guessing or questioning, but I will always reassure you that I care for you.”

Taeyong grows silent after what Doyoung had just said, speechless if you may. All Doyoung could hear was Taeyong’s steady breathing.

Taeyong sighs, steadily inhaling. “You’re a keeper,” he blurts. “I know,” Doyoung replies. This gets a giggle out of Taeyong, which Doyoung reactively smiles at.

“I genuinely question why you care so deeply about what I’m going through, and for that, I’m sorry and thankful.” Taeyong confessed.

There’s this slightly awkward tension created, but soon enough, Taeyong follows up with a question. “How are you? You’ve always helped me, and I feel pathetic that I couldn’t do the same,” he says depressingly.

“I wouldn’t want to invalidate your feelings, but truly, I’m fine,” Doyoung replies calmingly. “It’s my pleasure to help you, so I hope you wouldn’t feel pathetic for not helping me, Yong~ah.”

Taeyong lets out a sigh of relief and appreciation. It’s like he’s let go of everything to find home and comfort in Doyoung’s words.

“Doyoung~ah”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for existing.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And I thank your parents for not using protection.”

“WHAT-?! YONG~AH THAT SOUNDS WRONG.”

They laugh at Taeyong’s joke, making Yong become more at ease and livelier. Taeyong yawns, and afterwards, he says,

“As much as I still want to continue calling with you, I have to sleep now. Doyoung~ah, rest well and sleep early. You also got me to rely on when times get tough, okay?”

“Yes, Yong~ah. One last time before we end this call, call me when it’s taking a toll, okay? You have me,” Doyoung replies.

“I hope you continue to become successful and always be content with what you get. Good night, Yong~ah!”

Taeyong feels a little euphoric. “Jal ja, Doyoung~ah,” he bids, putting an end to their call. Doyoung puts his phone on the table beside his bed and sighs.

“Shit…” Doyoung immediately reacts. “The more I know, the more I fall for him,” he says to himself.

Well, Doyoung started having feelings for Taeyong for quite a while now. He started deluding himself for a short time that they’re together, and even though he was self-aware, he couldn’t help but develop feelings for Yong.

He even started imagining life without him, indeed making him fall for him more, so whenever Yong opens up to him, he couldn’t help but cry to sleep and also feel a bit closer with Taeyong.

**II. A Cup of Coffee**

“What more can I say, they’re so cute together,” he confesses. “Seeing them makes my heart flutter,” he adds.

Renjun has always admired this couple from afar, thinking of how adorable they are when they’re alone and by themselves.

“So why do you care?” Hyuck asks. “You’ve always told me stories of their relationship, so why do you care?” he follows up.

It’s what Hyuck always asks, yet Renjun never had an exact answer for that. “Well, it’s- it’s just…” Renjun stutters, losing eye contact.

“You’re in love, but with whom are you in love with?” Hyuck continuously asks.

This is the only conversation between them that they don’t bicker about, since this is something Hyuck takes seriously, seeing how he cares for Renjun and is also concerned for him, which he hides well.

“I wouldn’t say I’m in love, you know? I- I just admire them dearly. They’re cute. That’s all…” Renjun answers, as he takes a sip of his Latte.

Hyuck has always been straightforward with Renjun and without question, always realistic. “I hope you aren’t. You know you shouldn’t when they’re already a couple.”

This makes Renjun think to himself, ‘Jun~ah, you love- no, you ONLY like their dynamics and admire their relationship and care for them. You cannot live without them and you admire each of their flaws— Wait, you completely contradicted myself. HUANG RENJUN—’

“LEE DONGHYUCK!” someone shouted from a distance, snapping Renjun back to reality and cutting off his contemplation.

Donghyuck looks up to Jun, then turns to the direction he heard the voice.

“Oh? OH?! YANGYANG~IEEE!” Hyuck called out cheerfully. Hyuck immediately stands up, as they run to each other’s embrace and steal a peck from each other’s cheek. “I thought you wouldn’t finish ‘til 6:00 pm?”

“I lied. I just wanted to surprise you in my own little way. Wanna grab chinese takeout?” Yangyang asks.

“Sure!” Hyuck answers happily. Only then does Yangyang realize that someone was beside Hyuck at the table. “Oh? Oh! Annyeong, Renjun~ah!” he greets. “Sorry, I was locked on Hyuck since I’ve been yearning to see him.”

“Hellooooooo. It’s fine. You’ve been racing all day, so I think it’s instinctive for you to find your lover after work,” Renjun replies.

Hyuck and Yangyang have been head over heels for each other; Yangyang started loving how cute Hyuck is and grew to love him more than that.

Seemingly enough, Hyuck saw the same in Yangyang. As cheesy as it may sound, they were destined for each other……’s craziness.

“It’s fine if you leave. I’m about to go to work anyways,” Renjun states, as he sips the last few drops of his Latte.

“Oh, okay then. Hyuck, let’s go!” Yangyang says cheerfully, showing his gummy smile that makes Hyuck smile instantly. As Hyuck finishes the last few sips of his Iced Americano, they proceed to leave the cafe.

“Annyeong, Jun~ah!” Hyuck bids. “Annyeong, lovebirds!” Renjun replies shamelessly. As they leave, Jun is now alone in the cafe.

Renjun continues to visualize that couple walking at night, thinking about how open and deep their conversation could be.

_‘I found my way home’_

Renjun recognizes something; it’s the song playing.

_‘I found my way home’_

Jun instantly smiles, because hearing this made him think about the April of 2019, when that couple told their friends what had happened when they went to the Philippines.

**Lubao International Balloon and Music Festival  
April 5, 2019 @ 10:00 pm**

“Palli Palli!! We’re just in time for Ben&Ben!!” Jeno says as they are preparing to perform. They were supposed to meet up with Taeil, Mark, Dejun, and Hyuck for the concert, but they knew someone would be late…

Jaemin added 8 shots of espresso again to his ‘usual’ Americano, resulting in him being unable to sleep and barely waking up before the time of the festival.

“It’s about to start!” Jeno says cheerfully.

Jaemin slightly squints and finally becomes awake and unfazed. They didn’t have enough time to find their friend group nor did they have a signal to call or even text them.

“Good Night to everyone! Despite the time, let’s enjoy and let go of all our worries! I want everyone to have fun tonight!” the lead vocalists of Ben&Ben announce cheerfully. After a few moments, they start performing.

This is it. The moment Jeno and Jaemin have been waiting for. They have listened to a lot of Ben&Ben’s songs, mainly remembering the lead singles.

Through learning about them, they decided to take a trip to the Philippines in hopes to watch them perform live, and there they were.

They were also willing to learn Filipino, since they wanted to understand the depth of the lyrics they portrayed in their songs, and with enough silence, Ben&Ben perform.

**The Song Line-up:  
Sunrise  
Bibingka  
Leaves  
Maybe The Night  
Kathang Isip**

“Thank you for having us! Again, we are Ben&Ben!” Paolo and Miguel bid goodbye, proceeding to leave the stage. 

Jeno and Jaemin got so hyped throughout the whole ensemble. “That was soooooo fun,” Jaemin concluded. “I’d love to live this moment again,” he adds.

“I’d gladly do it again with you.” Jeno replies, leading them to meet each other’s eyes. Though short-lived, Jeno blushes and gushes to himself.

They proceed to find their friend group, but before they search for them, they hear Paolo Benjamin, one of the lead vocalists, speak. “We’re kidding! We have one last song to perform before we end our performance!”

This makes the crowd and Jeno & Jaemin scream to the peak of their lungs and return to the field.

Jaemin barely remembers what Ben&Ben said as an introduction before performing their last song of the night, because he’s already locked his eyes on Jeno, wanting him to notice.

Before Jeno could even notice though, Jaemin reverts his attention back to the stage when Ben&Ben proceed to individually introduce themselves, hearing how each member has a chance to be known to the crowd, using harmony to catch everyone’s attention.

As they finish introducing themselves, Paolo yells, “EVERYBODY JUMP!” The crowd follows as said, just instinctively. It goes on for a short while, until they start singing.

_‘Took the morning ride to the place where you and I were supposed to meet  
The city yawns, they echo on  
My thoughts are spinning on and on my head, it seems  
They lead me back to you  
I keep coming back to you’_

As much as Jaemin wants to focus on the performance, he stops and looks at Jeno. Surprised, Jeno’s already been looking at Jaemin.

There’s so much love in their eyes. They sustain eye contact, ‘til Jeno speaks softly.

“Saranghae” Jeno confessed. Hearing how he said it, Jaemin knows it’s not platonic. “Nado. Saranghae” Jaemin confessed as well. Jeno was also able to tell that it wasn’t platonic anymore.

They glance at each other’s expression, seeing how both of their faces are turning red, and their eye contact takes long enough until the chorus.

They scan each other’s face, reacting immediately, and before they know it, they lock lips to kiss.

_‘So I’m coming home to you, ooh  
You, ooh  
You’re all I need, the very air I breathe  
You are home, home’_  
**-Ride Home by Ben &Ben**

They smile and caress each other’s face, only to confirm that they are now and will always be each other’s home. They enjoy the rest of the performance and leave just in time to meet their friend group.

Taeil, Dejun, Mark, and Hyuck finally found them both after the concert, only to notice that they’re intertwining their fingers. The rest is history, and a romantic relationship is the result.

**III. Past to Present**

Doyoung gets excited for the surprise. He’s been anticipating Jeno’s birthday. He’s always present to celebrate both his cousin’s birthdays; they were always close, since they were also childhood neighbors.

Jeno would run to Doyoung if he’s wounded or concerned; Jaehyun would visit Doyoung if he’s bored; Doyoung would visit them both if he wanted their company.

It was hard when Doyoung left for college. For Jaehyun and Jeno, they felt like they lost the most valuable person in their lives. Despite that, it doesn’t take too long for Jeno and Jaehyun to come to a decision.

**flashback**

Doyoung is restless in his dorm. He’s been pressured and mentally distressed, not realizing the depth of understanding needed for psychology. He cries almost everyday, realizing how he gets answers to unrecognized pain and slight trauma.

He doesn’t have his cousins to comfort him at times like this, knowing they're at home, only until someone knocks at his door.

He wipes off his tears, though his eyes are obviously swollen. He opens the door, only to be surprised by Jae and Jeno. They immediately smile, making him cry tears of joy.

“What? Why did you come here?” Doyoung asks. “We miss you, hyung. That’s why we came.” Jae tells Doyoung, as Jeno runs to hug Doyoung. “We miss you a lot, hyung~nim.” Jeno confessed.

This makes Doyoung cry even harder, as Jae joins them in hugging, making them all feel at ease. Time goes by, and they decide to live together after Jeno finishes his secondary education.

**back to present**

There’s a slight knock on Doyoung’s door. Before he could even answer, someone came into his room. “Hyung” Jaehyun is at the door. “Are you ready?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Doyoung replies. “I’m glad to be present for Jeno’s birthday.” Jaehyun replies, “Same here.”

Doyoung had just returned from the psych ward after working overtime, while Jae returned from a meeting regarding the design of the new theme park that’s about to have its soft opening in less than a week.

Jae sits beside Doyoung on his bed, making himself comfy. “What's your gift?” Doyoung asks. “You’ll see it when I give it,” Jaehyun answered.

Seemingly enough, this feels like a competition in which the winner is Jeno’s favorite. What could they do? Jaehyun is his older brother, and Doyoung is his cousin.

“I’ll win,” Jaehyun states. “In your dreams,” Doyoung continued. This gets a laugh out of the both of them, knowing how it was just for fun, yet the fighting spirit to win is always omniscient.

“Jaehyun~ahhh” Doyoung wanders off a bit. “Hm?” Jae replies. “What do you do when you’re in love?” Doyoung asked profusely. “And I mean the one-sided kind of love.”

Jae has been in a relationship before; although, he was at fault for forcing it. He loved this person, but that person didn’t return the same sentiments as he did. He cried over it and found comfort in Doyoung’s advice and Jeno’s hugs.

“Well for me, it took some time. I dropped a few hints here and there. I tried to gain his trust without being intrusive nor wanting to become manipulative.

“I was scared that he'd turn me down once I opened my heart to him; thankfully, he had the same sentiments as I did for him.

“I wouldn’t want to force him to open up about his life, but he has always been comfortable and vulnerable with me. Knowing that, I knew we were gonna last until one of us parts.”

Doyoung gets stunned at his answer. “Oh wow… Okay.”

‘Wait’ He analyzes what Jae had just said. ‘He had the same sentiments as I did for him. We were gonna last until one of us parts.’ He thinks it over and over again and realizes something.

“Jaehyun~ah, are you in a relationship?” Doyoung asked, confused. “Uhm,” Jae mumbles, struggling to answer his question. “Yes. Yes, I am,” he answers regretfully. “I’m sor—”

“CONGRATS!!!” Doyoung cheers, startling Jae. “Who is he? How did it happen? Explain to me when and where you confessed and why you like him!” he bombards Jae.

Clearly, Doyoung is happy for Jae. Doyoung’s expression speaks for itself, seeing how he wants to get to know who Jae has been seeing.

Jae suddenly lets out a loud snort. “Well, about that, he’s still closeted.” Jaehyun answers monotonously. “Oh, is that so? I guess I got too excited…” Doyoung replies shyly.

“I’ll gladly tell you when he wants to meet you and Jeno.” Jaehyun confirmed, leaving Doyoung ecstatic and excited for when that day comes.

“Gaja, we have to prepare by Jeno’s door.” Jae suggests, as the clock is ticking down to 11:57 pm.

**IV. SAENGIL CHUKHA!**

Jeno had just showered and washed his face. He’s already wearing his pajamas and still has his glasses on. He gets comfy, as he tucks himself in his duvet and lies down on his bed.

‘This feels nice’ Jeno tells himself. Before sleeping, he takes off his glasses, until he hears a knock on his door. “Who is it?” but no one replies. 

Suddenly, Doyoung and Jaehyun barge in through the door, startling a sleepy Jeno. “SAENGIL CHUKHA, JENO!!!” they shout in unison. This makes Jeno’s tiredness gone and strength back up.

Jaehyun and Doyoung pretty much jump on Jeno, embracing him tightly, as they lie down together. They proceed to give him a small peck on his cheek, making Jeno blush a little and making them sit up on his bed. “Saengil chukha, Samoyed~shi!” they tease Jeno.

“Thank you, hyung~nims.” Jeno appreciates them lovingly, as he smiles, showing his crescent moon eye smile. “Wait!” Jae tells Jeno. “We haven’t given our gifts yet,” Doyoung continues.

Jeno knows how they both give their gifts in the morning, but today is slightly different. “Oh, already? Okay then!” Jeno replied.

“Well then, here’s mine!” Jae hands a seemingly small gift with a small ribbon on top. “What’s this?” Jeno asks, already opening Jae’s gift.

As he tore open the gift wrap, he found a box, and inside that box, he found two rings, embedded with Jeno’s name on one and Jaemin’s name on the other. 

“Oh— Hyung!!” Jeno hugs Jae immediately, rubbing his back. “How did you know?” he asked.

“I’ve noticed you looking at it whenever we passed Pandora’s Box, so I took the time to choose what you’d love to wear and had it customized.”

His eyes sparkle as he gives a peck on Jae’s cheek, slightly breaking off their hug. “Thank you, Jae hyung!” he says cheerfully, making Jae smile and slightly smirk.

“What’s in it for you, hyung?” Jae asks. His tone makes it sound like he’s already won a predicted verdict. 

“Wait, I left mine in my room. I’ll get it,” Doyoung answered as he left Jeno’s room.

Jeno and Jae wait for a bit, until someone speaks outside Jeno’s room. “No~yah!”

That voice makes Jeno stand up. Before seeing anyone enter, Jeno runs to his door to see Jaemin coming towards him. “JAEMIN!!!”

They run into each other’s arms and embrace. They hug for a solid minute, until they break it off and lock lips. The sight of them together makes Doyoung and Jae’s hearts flutter, knowing how fluffy they are and become when in each other’s company.

They stop locking lips and continue to hug again, as Jeno asks, “I thought you have a night shift?”

“I just said that to cover up the fact that I wanted to be with you from 00:00 to 24:00. It’s your birthday, the special day you were born,” Jaemin answered. “Oh, Saengil chukha, No~yah!”

Jeno locks his eyes with Jaemin, stealing a quick peck on his lips, as they smile at each other’s company.

“That’s unfair.” Jae tells Doyoung. “You’re just saying that because clearly, I won,” Doyoung replies.

“Oh, here’s a ring from Jaehyun hyung. It has our names on it.” Jeno tells Jaemin, making him gasp, as he hands the ring with his name to Jaemin. Looking at Jaehyun, Jaemin mouths the words, ‘Thank you’

“I won,” Jaehyun declares. “You can dream all you want,” Doyoung tells Jae.

As petty as it is, they laugh and continue to smile at how Jeno and Jaemin have been hugging for about 5 minutes already.

“It’s getting late. You two should go to sleep already,” Jae interrupts. “We have a party to host tomorrow, remember?” Doyoung reminds them.

“Yes, I’ll sleep when Jaemin prepares to sleep as well,” Jeno responds. They then go to Jeno’s room and proceed to prepare to go to bed.

As if they were elementary students who don’t want to sleep but play, Jeno and Jaemin just want to spend the night talking, but they both know what’s right.

Before sleeping, Doyoung started some preparations for the party: setting up the dining table, getting the paper plates and plastic holders, stacking the paper cups, and preparing his mocktail concoction.

As soon as he finished, he proceeded to bid good night to his cousins, first to Jae, who’s already dozing off and about to sleep, then to Jeno.

Opening Jeno’s door, he sees Jaemin beside him in his bed. They’re embracing each other and already asleep, even matching each other’s breath. Seeing them makes Doyoung feel at ease, silently closing Jeno’s door to avoid waking one of them up.

Doyoung finally enters his own room, immediately lying down on his bed. He prays that Jeno’s party will be safe and clear of getting anyone hurt. ‘Jal ja’

Right when he closes his eyes does he open it, thinking about Taeyong.

‘Wait’ he stops himself, apparently from sleeping. ‘Should I check up on Taeyong?’ he contemplates. It has been a few days since they last called.

‘He’s probably asleep by now,’ he tells himself. ‘But at this time, he’s playing Animal Crossing,’ he contradicts his previous statement. 

‘I shouldn’t disturb him at a time like this,’ he concludes. ‘But I really want to know how he’s doing,’ he concludes again.

This makes him tired, almost enough to knock him asleep. He stops thinking and dismisses his thoughts, meaning he won’t check up on Taeyong.

‘Maybe tomorrow…’ he tells himself before ultimately sleeping. 

It’s gonna be a tiring but fun day by the evening which they all anticipate, so it’s best to sleep now.

‘Jal ja’ Doyoung whispers to himself.

**V. Between Life and Death; Ride or Die**

Renjun opens his phone and calls Hyuck, who immediately picks up. “How long ‘til you get here?” Renjun asks.

He has been waiting for Hyuck and Yangyang to pick him up. “We’ll be there in about 4 minutes,” Hyuck answered.

If he doesn’t grab a bus ride now, he’d be late for the party, but if he just ditches the free ride that Hyuck and Yangyang offered, he’d be ashamed, knowing how his apartment is out of the way to Jeno’s.

“Okay. I’m in front of my dorm’s building right now. See you in a bit,” Renjun bids, as he ends the phone call. He then proceeds to remind himself:

**Don’t say anything stupid.  
Don’t say anything stupid.  
Don’t say anything stupid.  
Don’t say anything stupid.  
Don’t say anything stupid.  
Don’t say anything stupid.**

Jun thinks that if he repeats saying that over and over, he won’t say or do anything unrelated to Jeno’s birthday. He’s afraid that he’ll constantly look at Jeno, or even Jaemin.

Jun inhales deeply and lets out a short yet loud sigh, slightly scaring those passing by him. He gets a bit shy, but he shrugs it off anyways.

Before noticing anything, there’s already a car in front of him. Not only is he surprised at the car, but also surprised that it’s a Porsche Panamera GTS.

Whoever was in the passenger’s seat just opened his window. Now what’s more shocking is Hyuck on the passenger’s seat and on his left, Yangyang on the driver’s seat.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go already.” Hyuck says after opening his window.

Renjun is still shocked but wastes no time, as he hops in their car. As soon as he sits, gets his seatbelt, and is comfortable, Yangyang starts driving to their destination.

Hyuck inclines his chair, almost making no space for Renjun to move. Jun knows he can’t move while they’re driving, knowing the possibility of a car crash.

“You don’t own this car, so you can’t tell me what to do,” Hyuck makes clear Jun, making Jun glare at him.

“Thank you,” Jun appreciated. “Yangyang.” Hyuck doesn’t get the last laugh. Though he wants to bicker, he shrugs it off instead.

“We’ll be there in 5,” Yangyang mutters. “Are you sure? I bet you’ll take longer,” Hyuck says sneakily.

“10,000 ₩?” Yangyang bids. “15,000 ₩” Hyuck bids. “Done,” Yangyang agrees, as he steps on the acceleration pedal.

Renjun gets interested as to who will win their sudden bet, yet after hearing everything, he’s afraid of what’ll happen with their car ride, but the ride itself was smooth and comfortable.

He knows that Yangyang is a race car driver which made him think he loves speed. ‘WoW’ Renjun thinks to himself.

They’re already near the apartment with 2 minutes left for Yangyang to spare. Knowing how Yangyang is gonna win, Hyuck causes a slight commotion.

The traffic light is on green, as Yangyang accelerates again. *Out of nowhere* “STOP!” Hyuck shouts, letting Yangyang harshly step on the brake pedal. Yangyang screams, as Renjun hits his head behind Hyuck’s seat.

Hyuck immediately reclines his seat upright, as Yangyang fears he’s hit something if not someone, since there was no one in front of him. He asks, “What happened? Did I collide into something? Will I go to jail? What—”

Hyuck steals a kiss from Yangyang, getting him flustered. Renjun is still hurt, and the traffic light is now on red.

“What was that for? Why did you say stop all of a sudden?” Yangyang asks, shocked. “Uhm, I just wanted to kiss y—”

Yangyang cuts him off with a kiss as well, getting Hyuck to blush and himself to show his gummy smile.

“Please don’t kiss me when I’m driving. Do it later, oki?” Yangyang asked politely. After the commotion, they continue to the apartment, and Renjun is still a bit hurt but goes unnoticed.

They arrive in front of Jeno’s apartment building where he lives, and Hyuck reminds Yangyang of their bet. “7 minutes. I won!! Cash in 15,000 ₩ when we get home, oki?” he says mischievously. 

‘You only won because you caused a commotion, and you gave, “I wanted to kiss you,” as an excuse. And Yangyang bought that? WoW. This couple surely is something else.’ 

“Fine,” Yangyang replied. “Gaja. We have to go there. I’m excited to get wasted,” Renjun blurted.

This gets a laugh out of Yangyang and Hyuck, leading Renjun to realize what he had just said.

“Yeah. We all know that, Jun~ah,” Hyuck replied, giggling. “Let’s go now if we wanna get wasted already!” Yangyang also replied.

**VI. Drunkards**

At the front door of the building, they see Jaehyun, waiting for them. They greet him cheerfully, as Hyuck does his handshake with Jae. *many hi-fives and a dab*

They proceed to their apartment and prepare to greet Jeno a happy birthday. Jaehyun opens the door to their apartment, immediately going to the kitchen.

As soon as they get to the door, they are greeted by Jeno with his ever so welcoming smiling crescent moon eyes.

“SAENGIL CHUKHA, JENO~YAH!!” They all greet in unison. Jeno smiles even wider than he already is, as he proceeds to hug them one by one.

He’s quite the hugger, even almost hugging strangers for helping him out in whatever way. The thought of Renjun getting a hug from Jeno makes him slightly blush, making him think:

**Don’t think of anything stupid.  
Don’t think of anything stupid.  
Don’t think of anything stupid.  
Don’t think of anything stupid.  
Don’t think of anything stupid.  
Don’t think of anything stupid.**

Seeing how Jeno hugged Hyuck and Yangyang, it’s a tight hug, meaning Renjun could feel his body against Jeno’s. Jeno now approaches Renjun, reactively making Jun step back a little.

Jeno opens his arms wide, as Renjun barely opens his own. He hugs Renjun tight, making Renjun gasp a little. Hyuck and Yangyang were watching them and heard the gasp, holding themselves back from laughing while also looking away, almost falling to the floor.

Jeno slowly breaks the hug, getting Renjun to sigh and relax a bit. “Thanks for coming, all of you. It means a lot!” Jeno appreciates them as if he were a dog that could speak while wagging its tail.

They thank him as well and are glad to be present. “I’ll be back in a bit. I’ll just take a shower,” Jeno states, as he goes to the bathroom. 

Hyuck and Yangyang go to the living room, only to notice that Shotaro has been waiting there. They greet him and catch up, as they play Shadowrun — an indie game.

It’s a fun game, considering how Hyuck, Yangyang, and even Shotaro started betting on money. Little did they know that Taeyong was actually one of the developers…

As they played together, Renjun went to the kitchen for a drink. There, he sees Jaehyun helping Doyoung, who notices his presence, greeting him. “Oh? Annyeong, Jun~ah.”

“Annyeonghaseyo, hyung,” Renjun greeted back, and he caught someone in his peripheral vision, feeling a slight shift in the breeze. “Annyeonghaseyooo, Renjunniee,” someone slightly slurs.

Jun notices his voice, takes a look, and sees Jaemin, also helping Doyoung out with the cooking. He gets stunned and taken aback, as Jaemin approaches him.

Jaemin’s hands somehow go over his forehead, and Renjun immediately reacts. “Ouch. That hurts,” he squealed a little.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Jaemin asks. He barely touched Jun’s forehead, yet the slight touch hurt him. “It’s swelling; it’s also a bit red,” he explained.

Renjun suddenly remembers hitting his head while Hyuck was setting that commotion up, making him scowl.

“Come with me, I’ll give you an ice pack and some medicine,” Jaemin reassures Jun, as he grabs Jun by the hand, causing him to gasp a little.

“Doyoung hyung, Jaehyun hyung, I’ll treat Renjun for now,” Jaemin tells them. “Okiokii” Jaehyun replies. “See you later then, Jaeminnie.” Doyoung bids.

Jaemin smiles, as he walks to someone’s room, still holding on Jun’s hand. Renjun could barely speak, letting Jaemin just… hold his hand apparently.

While walking to the room, Shotaro, Hyuck, and Yangyang see them, giggling while looking away. Renjun sees their reaction, glaring at them while also wanting to know why.

They get inside a room, as Renjun sits on the bed. “I’ll be back in a bit,” Jaemin tells Jun before leaving. Renjun sighs aloud, lying down on the bed. He’s blushing as red as a tomato.

‘Someone put me out of my misery already. What is happening, Huang Renjun? Hm? Ha? Ugh…’ His train of thought gets cut when he hears the door open. ‘Well that was fast.’

Jun sits right up to see Jeno wrapped in a towel, immediately looking away. He now realizes that he’s in Jeno’s room. Jun blurts, “I— I’M SO SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEE YOU LIKE THAT. I—”

“No, no it’s fine. I mean there’s nothing wrong with seeing me like this,” Jeno replies coolly. Jun reminds himself that they are close. The only thought running through Jun’s brain is:

**Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.  
Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.  
Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.  
Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.  
Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.  
Why are you thinking stupid? DON’T.**

As Jeno wears comfy clothes, Jaemin returns to the room. He sees Jeno and gives him a peck; Jun sees that all and internally squeals.

“Here’s the medicine and water,” Jaemin says, as he hands the medicine puts an ice pack on Jun’s head.

Renjun thinks to himself, ‘Is this how gentle Jaemin is? How sweet.’ All three stay there for a while, catching up on what’s happening with their personal lives.

They happily engage in conversation, until someone knocks on the door. “Jeno, let’s celebrate your special day!” Jae says cheerfully. “Okiokii!!” Jeno replies.

Thankfully enough, Jun is fine. “Thanks for helping me get better,” Jun thanks Jaemin. While standing up, Jaemin kisses Jun on his forehead, for some reason. He gets startled and sits back down, staring at Jaemin.

If Jeno is a hugger, Jaemin is a kisser. He kisses anyone he’s close with, knowing there’s nothing romantic to it. It’s his way of affection, quite comfortable of him.

One by one, they leave the room. Renjun could only think this to himself: THAT WAS IN NO WAY ROMANTIC. He recollects his thoughts and self and proceeds to leave Jeno’s room, as he goes to the kitchen to see a buffet of food.

There’s the usual seaweed soup and rice, and in addition to that, there’s also alfredo chicken pasta, 4-cheese pizza, french onion soup, caesar salad, chocolate chiffon cake, and samgyupsal to top it all off.

Collectively, they don’t match AT ALL, but Doyoung wants to outdo himself and just make the best dishes for Jeno’s special day.

He also wanted variety in what he’d make, so it was rewarding regardless of what everyone else thought.

Jae brings a chocolate cake, as Doyoung lights the candles, and everyone proceeds to sing:

_Saengil chukha hamnida~  
Saengil chukha hamnida~  
Saranghaneun Lee Jeno~  
Saengil chukha hamnida~_

Jeno smiles as wide as ever, thanking everyone for being there and celebrating with him. “SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!” everyone chanted, making Jeno speak.

“Wahh. I didn’t prepare a speech or whatnot. Okay uhm, I’m happy that we get to be together. I hope we get to see each other like this more often besides just celebrating someone’s birthday, annnnd I hope to spend more time with everyone here!

“To more triumphs, success, hardships, and a wonderful year ahead!”

Everyone applauds and shouts, as they now chant:

_‘Soneul mattae soneul mattae  
Soneul mattae soneul mattae  
Now make a wish!’_  
**-Make A Wish by NCT U**

He makes a wish and blows the candle’s fire out. Afterwards, they eat and talk about anything.

About thirty minutes of eating and talking was enough for the high quality food to reduce in quantity. Everyone is now thanking Doyoung for the food, even praising him for such quality in big portions.

Everyone is now full, only to mean one last thing: getting wasted. Doyoung and Jae know that they will get drunk and wasted anyways.

They bring out the best wine they have: Château Lafite and Château d’Yquem. Not only did they bring out wine, but they also brought cans of beer out.

The kids, in Doyoung and Jae’s eyes they still are since they’re younger, stare at the expensive wine. They get goblets prepared for them as well for the sake of extravagance and fanciness.

They pour in some wine for the kids, as they take sips. Sips became gulps, and gulps became chugs. At that point, they should’ve bet on who’d get drunk first, but they’re already too drunk to speak properly.

“Yousssshhhhhhh— HYUCK.”  
“WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!”  
“SAENGGGL CHUGA HAKNIDAY, NONO-YAH.”  
“AISH! AIGO A KKAM-JAGIYA!”  
“WOAH. WOAH… WOAH!”  
“NOW, THIS! THIS IS HOW YOU STEAL THE SHOW!”

Doyoung and Jae only observe what they’re seeing, monitoring their movements and watching if what they’re doing is safe. The night passes; the day rises. 

**VII. Sober Up**

Renjun wakes up from getting wasted, not remembering anything. He sits up on a couch, processing that he was put there. Beside him is Taro on the floor, sleeping on a futon, tucked in a blanket.

Jun checks the time, only to realize it’s already past noon. 2:37 pm (April 24) He silently goes to the kitchen and gets a glass of water to hydrate himself. He doesn’t stop there though, as he checks each room.

Though the first instinct is to go to Jeno’s room, he’s treating it as the best for last. He slightly opens the door to a room, only to see Doyoung and Jaehyun hugging each other.

There are some scented candles lit and a keyboard in the room, and there’s that same song playing on the recorder: Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey.

He isn’t surprised, as he remembers what Jeno had told them about their relationship, quite sweet, he remembers correctly.

Jae would go to Doyoung for advice and comfort, knowing how stressful his job is and how his designs will either appeal to the public or repel them.

Doyoung would go to Jaehyun for a reality and mental health check, knowing how psychology also depends on how mentally and emotionally strong you are.

Seeing them in each other’s arms warms Jun’s heart; he suddenly remembers how they’d go together and attend night masses during Advent, having their arms around each other either on the waist or the shoulder. 

Jeno recently joined them when he turned into an adult, followed by Jaemin when they became a couple. That was also the first time they’d actually notice each other’s presence, maybe even the first spark of infatuation.

Jun moves on to the next room. As he opens the door, he doesn't see anyone sleeping because he goes on to marvel at a minimalistic room. There’s nothing much but a hallway and a closet.

He wants to see who’s inside, so he does so on his own accord. He doesn't even regret anything; he’s just curious. He sees a rather familiar hair color. There’s black, and the other one’s blue. It struck him. ‘It’s them?! Why aren’t they in his room though?!’

Jun sees Jeno and Jaemin in someone else’s room. He takes a closer look, marveling at how they sleep together. He wants to adore them more, ‘til he realizes how weird and how much of a stalker he’s becoming. He closes the door of where they were sleeping, and proceeds to Jeno’s room.

He expects Hyuck and Yangyang to be there; he opens the door, and a startled Yangyang stops what seems like him showering Hyuck with kisses. Hyuck doesn't bother looking, because his face is against Jun’s direction, and is currently buried in Yangyang’s neck.

“Don’t you knock?!” Hyuck shouted. “You don’t own this apartment, so you can’t tell me what to do,” Jun immediately sniped back, making Hyuck realize that he’s using his own words against him.

“Fine,” Hyuck replies, as he throws a pillow at Jun. “YA!” Jun reacts. “You know what? Enjoy yourselves.”

Jun shrugs it off, as he exits the room. “Annyeong,” Yangyang bids, as he continues to kiss Hyuck. 

Renjun turns around to get in front of Doyoung’s face, taking a step back. “Oh? Annyeong, Jun~ah,” Doyoung greets. “Oh— Annyeonghaseyo, Doyoung hyung,” he greets back. 

“Stay here for a while. Let me heat up food for you.” Doyoung says, as he pats Jun’s hair down. “Uhm, okay. Thanks, hyung!” Jun replied cheerfully. 

Jun waits on a seat, as he swirls his cup of water. He tries to recall what had happened last night, but all he could remember was seeing Jeno and Jaemin slow dance to Perfect by Ed Sheeran, honestly making him cringe.

“I assume you’re trying to recall what you did last night,” Doyoung blurts, clearing the air. “Yeah…” Jun responds honestly. “May I?” Doyoung asks, as he gives some leftover seaweed soup and rice and takes a seat across Jun. “Sure,” Jun replies hesitantly.

“I’ll only tell you what I remember,” Doyoung reminds him as a foreshadow. “Eat while I tell you everything I remember,” he continues. Jun nods, as he starts.

**April 23 @ 11:00 pm**

“Woah!” Jun woos. “Let’s bet cRrRraZy GrRrRrAzY hRrRraZy ‘til y3e sHe tHe bUn.” Hyuck slurs.

“Hey— *Hyuck* guys!!! Let’s have a *Hyuck* dAnCe BaAaTlLe.” Yangyang declares while hiccuping, or more like hyuck-upping. “Shore.” Taro says confidently.

**Work It plays “... WORK IT.”**

Renjun: *twerks on the first beat*  
Yangyang: *penguin walks*  
Hyuck: *Got me feeling like a super I know I can fly!*  
Taro: *gracefully does a triple pirouette*  
Jeno & Jaemin: *slow dancing*

**From Home plays “When we shine bright, I’m alive.”**

Renjun: *tiptoes to the beat*  
Yangyang: *vogues try hardly*  
Hyuck: *does aerobics*  
Taro: *dances hardcore hiphop*  
Jeno & Jaemin: *dances tango*

“They need to wear themselves out a bit more before we drag their bodies to the beds or the couch,” Jae concluded.

“Who takes whose room?” Doyoung asks. “Kai Bai Bo— It’s decided then,” Jae declared.

Doyoung threw paper while Jae threw rock, meaning the winner sleeps in the loser’s room, and the bed of the winner is used by any two of the kids. It’s the other way around for them; don’t question it.

As soon as everyone passed out, they started to either drag or carry each of the kids. Jeno & Jaemin get placed in Doyoung’s room, honestly because Doyoung trusts them that they won’t pee or puke on his bed.

Hyuck and Yangyang get placed in Jeno’s room, as if it’s the test bed if they’ll do anything to ruin the bed or the room. Jun gets placed on the couch; Taro gets placed on a futon beside the couch.

Doyoung and Jae clean up, transfer food to containers, wash the dishes, take out the trash, and finally prepare to sleep.

“Aigoo… We finally get to rest,” Jae sighed, as he belly flops on his bed. “Yeah. That was fun, until we had to tidy up everything and the kids,” Doyoung replied.

They don’t waste anymore time and proceed to sleep. Since they are comfortable, they sleep in each other’s embrace. “Jal ja, hyung” Jae bids. “Jal ja, Jaehyunie” Doyoung bids as well.

**back to present**

Renjun had just finished eating, trying to keep his composure. “Thank you for the food and for telling me what happened last night,” Jun thanks Doyoung. “You’re welcome,” Doyoung replied hospitably. “Though there’s one more thing,” he continues.

“You kissed Jaemin.”

Jun chokes on his water and almost spits it at Doyoung’s face. He gulps the water down and proceeds to ask, “WHAT?!” Much to his disbelief, Doyoung only repeats himself. “You kissed Jaemin on the lips.”

He couldn’t believe the words leaving Doyoung’s lips. It’s blander to him, but he was drunk, and Doyoung wasn’t, so he knows what happened.

“Don’t worry, Jae didn’t see what happened. He was putting Yangyang in Jeno’s room while you kissed him. Jaemin already passed out when it had happened,” Doyoung reassures Jun.

“Maybe it was your hormones. I’m honestly thankful all of you were wasted, because if not… I wouldn’t know what to do nor how Jeno would react,” Doyoung reassures again.

“Uhm… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that…” Jun feels apologetic. “I’ll go now,” Jun states, as he goes to the front door. “Oh– Annyeong, Jun~ah.”

He stampedes to leave and bumps into Jeno, leading him to fall to his butt. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice you passing by. Are y-”

“I’m fine. I have work to do. Annyeong,” Jun bids discreetly, as he leaves. Jeno stares at him, from Jun standing himself up to him leaving. “What was all that?” Jaemin asked. “I don’t know,” Jeno responded.

“He told me he’s on leave. Why work?” Hyuck questions but nevertheless, lets it be. “I guess it’s an emergency.” Jeno assumed. “I agree,” someone replies.

Hyuck, Yangyang, and Shotaro reply in unison, almost sounding as one. They all saw everything happen, but Shotaro happened to slightly overhear what Doyoung was telling Jun, though only heard Jun release his frustration on his chopsticks and spoon.

“I’ll catch up with him. I also have to catch up on practice. Annyeong, chingu~deul,” Taro bids, as he catches up to Renjun.

**VIII. After the Afterparty**

Renjun is in his dorm, walking restlessly, not even feeling tired. ‘Why would I do that?’ Jun asks himself. He’s been reflecting on that kiss, asking for forgiveness from Jeno & Jaemin in his mind.

‘How did it feel like?’ Jun suddenly thinks, making him blush. He slaps himself all of a sudden. ‘Ya! What are you thinking, Huang Renjun? Aish’

“Slapping yourself won’t help you.” Someone finally cuts Jun’s reflection and stops him from walking. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Jun~ah.” Jun takes a look to see who it is and sees Shotaro.

“I guess you’re right…” Jun confirms. “Rest for now. Thinking too much might give you stress.” Taro advised.

“Yeah… I guess I will,” Jun concludes. “Rest as well, Taro. You have practice tomorrow, right? Jal ja,” Jun bids. “Yeah… Jal ja, Jun~ah.” Taro also bids.

**9:43 pm**

‘Jal ja’ or so Jun thought. He’s been thinking about Jeno's birthday party. It happened just last night; it was quite memorable, but why can’t he stop thinking about it already.

‘Ugh’ Jun groans. He’s been restless, wanting to know more about last night, which pops an idea in his mind. ‘Jaehyun hyung’ he thought. He grabs his phone, scrolls through his contacts, and finds Jae’s number, pressing dial.

It’s bold of him to do. They only sent happy birthday greetings and some other messages of Renjun asking for embarrassing pics of Jeno.

He waits for about 4 rings before Jae answers. “Yeoboseyo?” Jae asked. Immediately, Jun regrets the call. He could’ve just texted and asked, since Jae is already now ranked 1st in Renjun’s awkward list.

“Uhm, annyeonghaseyo, Jaehyun hyung,” Jun answered. “Oh? Annyeong, Jun~ah. Why the call?” Jae asks politely. “Oh, uhm. I just wanted… to know what we did at Jeno's birthday party…” Jun asked shyly.

Jae laughs at the other side of the line, dimples protruding as he smiles. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you,” Jae answered. “Am I bothering you? If I am, please tell me. I’ll drop this call,” Renjun asks Jae. 

“No, you aren’t. I’m resting at the moment because of last night,” he answered. “Has Doyoung told you about how y’all passed out?” Jae asked. Jun is surprised that he knows Doyoung told him his part of the story.

“Uhm, not specifically,” Jun replies. “Okay, I’ll tell you what happened.”

**April 23 @ 11:40 pm**

“Should we start bringing them to the beds?” Jae asked. “Yeah, half of them already passed out,” Doyoung answered. So far, those that passed out are Yangyang, Jaemin, and Shotaro.

Jaehyun first carries Yangyang to Jeno’s room, and Hyuck follows him afterwards. “Yangyang, you promised you’d never leave meeeee,” Hyuck shouted. “I love youuuuuuuuu. Please don’t leave meeeeeeee. You’re all I haveeeeeeeee. I—”

Jae and Doyoung get surprised at Hyuck’s confession, as Hyuck passes out on the way to Jeno’s room.

He places Yangyang on the bed, and drags Hyuck, putting him in Yangyang’s embrace, also readjusting his head to Yangyang’s shoulder, trying not to make it uncomfortable for them.

Doyoung gets Jaemin and struggles to carry him, mainly because Jun is attached to him like a koala. “Jaeminnieeee saranghanuuuuuuuu,” Jun suddenly confessed. “Saranghaeyoooooooo”

Doyoung is surprised as well, as he tries to take Jun off from clinging on to Jaemin. He successfully does so and puts Jaemin in his bed.

Jae proceeds to get Jeno who’s about to walk into broken glass, until he stopped his brother from doing so. While stopping him, he passes out.

Jae gets him to Doyoung’s room, also placing him in Jaemin’s embrace, nuzzling his face on Jaemin's shoulder.

There’s one last problem: Renjun. He’s so intoxicated that he doesn’t just seem to stop. Jae and Doyoung wait for him, as he dances to some One Direction and Justin Bieber songs.

“Baby Baby Baby OHHHHHHHHHHH” Jun shrieked. “Baby Baby Baby OH- OHHHHH,” he voice cracked. “Thought you’d always be mine—” and Jun ultimately passed out. 

Doyoung tucks him in a blanket, placing him on the couch. Jae keeps him company for a while, trying to listen to what Jun was apparently slurring.

Jae then finally puts Shotaro, who passed out in the kitchen, on the futon prepared for him. “These kids are wild,” Jaehyun concludes. “I know. Ugh, we have to clean,” Doyoung replied.

**back to present**

Jun is as red as a tomato again, the most embarrassed he’s ever felt. Good thing he’s alone this time, because he’s kicking the air and internally shouting, ‘YOU’RRRREEEE SOOOOO DUUUUUMMMBBB!!!’

“Uhm, anymore? I’m so embarrassed; I can’t look at myself the same way…” Jun asked embarrassingly. “Well, yeah,” Jae answered. “What is it?” Jun asks again.

“You kissed Jeno.”

Jun’s spirit awakens, as he sits up. He’s so shocked and proceeds to ask, “WHAT?!” Much to his disbelief, Jaehyun only repeats himself. “You kissed Jeno on the lips.”

He couldn’t believe the words leaving Jaehyun’s lips. It’s blander to him, but he was drunk, and Jaehyun wasn’t, so he knows what happened.

“Don’t worry, Doyoung didn’t see what happened. He was putting Jaemin in his room while you kissed him. Jeno already passed out when it had happened,” Jaehyun reassures Jun.

“Maybe it was your hormones. I’m honestly thankful all of you were wasted, because if not… I wouldn’t know what to do nor how Jaemin would react,” Jaehyun reassures again.

“Uhm… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that…” Jun feels apologetic. “I’ll go now,” Jun states, as he’s about to end the call. “Just know it’s fine. Jal ja, Jun~ah,” Jaehyun bids, as Jun ends the call.

‘Fuck’ Renjun blurts. ‘Deja vu’ he thinks to himself.

‘Why is this happening? To me? Of all people?’ He questions everything at this point.

Doyoung told him he kissed Jaemin. Now, Jaehyun tells him he kissed Jeno. It seems false, even alleged. Maybe they’re messing around with him, though unlikely, it’s still a possibility.

As much as he wants to reflect on his actions, he just stops. Jun lies back down on his bed, putting his phone on the nightstand.

‘Please. That’s enough’ he says to himself. He closes his eyes and proceeds to sleep, finally resting from reflecting all day and night.

**IX. The Time To Decide**

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Doyoung contemplates. “But should I?”

“I mean, you have to try at least once, right?” Kun suggested. “I think you should. You wouldn’t want to regret not asking him at all than asking him.” Ten suggested as well.

Doyoung, Ten, And Kun have always eaten dinner together every Friday night. It’s their tradition, knowing how their jobs are interesting, and they always have something new to share with each other.

They are in the same age group, so getting to know each other wasn’t as hard as they thought. They share a common goal of wanting to be content with what they’re pursuing, a good attitude towards their lives, if thought about.

Ten works as a choreographer at dance studios and a private music coach, while Kun is still a student in Aeronautics, studying to become a pilot.

“But what if he’s busy? And knowing the entertainment industry, the IDOL industry, SM Entertainment of all companies, will it even be possible for him to go out?” Doyoung second guesses.

He’s been wanting to ask Taeyong out for dinner, well honestly, a date, but he knows the consequences of his actions if he tries to do so. Rumors, scandals, online rants and discussions will all result from this.

“I get that you have your doubts, but this is worth the shot.” Kun answered calmly and collectively. “If you want to ask him out, you won’t regret even trying to ask.” Ten answered as well.

Doyoung overthinks the cons of his actions, thinking again about what backlash Taeyong might possibly receive.

“We know you love him, so at least try.” Kun suggests. “It won’t hurt to ask, but we do know you’ll get affected by whatever verdict.” Ten reminded Doyoung. “We’ll support and help you, always.” Kun reassured.

Their words give Doyoung hope; he’s been meaning to ask Taeyong out for months already. All this waiting and indecisiveness leads him to a decision. He grabs his phone, opens it, and proceeds to dial Taeyong.

“Yeoboseyo?” Taeyong asked. Ten and Kun wait for Doyoung to speak, ‘til he asks, “Are you free tomorrow?” Taeyong looks at his schedule, then answers, “I’m free by the evening. Why ask?”

Doyoung smiles. “Wanna have dinner with me? I’ve missed our small talks and all. Is that okay? You don’t have to force yourself. You can say n—”

“I don’t feel forced, and yes, I’d love to have dinner with you. I’ve missed you, Doyoung~ah,” Taeyong cuts off Doyoung. “I’m busy right now; I’ll call back later tonight or tomorrow morning. Annyeong, Doyoung~ah.”

Taeyong ends the call, leaving Doyoung as stunned as a student realizing he’s got a lot of work to do. He instantly melts on his seat, slouching on the chair, and laughably, slips off.

Ten and Kun smile and cheer for Doyoung, internally squealing, because they both know how he wanted this for months, as they help him sit up straight.

They fan Doyoung to somehow cool him down, letting him chug down on water, while they try to revert everyone’s attention back to their food and not at Doyoung who’s as red as a rose.

Kun and Ten try to grab Doyoung by his arms, laughing at themselves at how stupid they look. Since Doyoung was so unstable, standing him up was much harder.

They were able to get him out of the restaurant, though Doyoung suddenly ran sideward, falling to the bushes. Ten and Kun wheeze at him, as they fall to the floor, pounding it.

They get Doyoung back up, still laughing, as they do everything in their power to shush Doyoung up, because apparently, the water they let Doyoung chug was actually soju.

“TAEYO-” Ten slaps Doyoung’s mouth. “LEE TAE-” Kun shouts out loud, “YA!” Ten and Kun sing Gfriend’s Apple, ‘WE O YA YA YA YA’

It’s such a funny scenario that Ten and Kun could only wheeze and cry tears of pain from holding back their laughter.

Successfully, they were able to bring Doyoung to his apartment, as Jae greets them at the door. “Oh? Annyeonghaseyo, Ten hyung, Kun hyung.”

Ten and Kun greet him in unison. “Annyeong, Jaehyun~ahh.” Jae gets Doyoung, carrying him.

“What happened?” Jae asked. “He got d—” Kun gets cut off. “We raced on who would catch me fastest. While running, Doyoung fainted in the process.” Ten explained.

“Yes. Yes, he did,” Kun immediately tagged along. “I hope he gets better. Also, we have to go. It’s quite late.” Kun realized. “Jal ja” Ten bids.

“Oh, jal ja, hyungs.” Jae bids. “Stay safe!” Ten and Kun wave bye, leaving the building.

“Why lie?” Kun asked. “For fun~” Ten answered.

**X. Knockout!**

Apparently, Doyoung passed out at Taeyong’s answer, as he woke up in his minimalistic room. He checks the time on his phone, but before he could see the time, Taeyong called him.

“Yeoboseyo?” Taeyong asks. “Good Morning, hyung,” Doyoung replies. “Well, it’s already 11:57 am, but hey, there’s still 3 minutes before 12:00 noon,” Taeyong explains.

Doyoung is quite embarrassed, but he immediately asks, “What time do you want to meet?” Taeyong checks his schedule and answers, “7:30. Is that fine?”

“It’s settled then. Starbucks?” Doyoung follows up. “Sure. I’ll get some sweet potato snacks,” Taeyong replied. “I got work to do right now. I’ll see you later, Doyoung~ah. I’m excited.” He adds, excited.

“Same here. I’ll see you later then. Annyeong, Yong~ahh,” Doyoung bids. Their call ends, and Doyoung immediately turns red again. He’s been notably feeling overwhelmed since last night.

He goes to the kitchen to get some water. There, he sees Jaehyun all dressed up for work. He dresses well, yet still looks like he’s wearing casual clothes. “Oh, Good Afternoon, hyung,” Jae greets Doyoung.

“I have to go to work; I have another meeting with the design team,” Jae explained. Surprisingly, someone back hugs him, making him shiver when he feels someone’s breath. “You’ll do great, hyung~nim.” Jae recognizes the voice. It’s Jaemin, who’s about to go back to sleep for his night shift.

“Thanks, Jaeminnie.” Jaehyun thanked Jaemin. He lets go of Jaehyun and leaves a small peck on his cheek, then he proceeds to hug Doyoung and leaves a small peck as well. 

“Good luck today, Doyoung hyung.” Jaemin says all of a sudden, as if he knows something Doyoung doesn’t. “Thank you, Jaeminnie.” Doyoung says.

Jaehyun leaves, Jaemin sleeps again, and Doyoung goes back to his room, still thinking about the date later that night.

To keep himself busy, he did some of his hobbies; although, after every hobby he loves gets him even more restless, someone knocks on his door.

“Hyung, may I come in?” It’s Jeno. “Sure,” Doyoung answered. He comes in and lies down beside Doyoung, pulling the duvet a little to tuck himself in.

“You seem restless, hyung. I heard a little distress from your room, so I came,” Jeno tells Doyoung. Jeno has always been Doyoung’s stress reliever and form of human comfort.

“Thanks for your concern.” Doyoung thanks Jeno, as he proceeds to get closer and embrace him. He only needs Jeno’s embrace to feel comfort and relief, as Jeno nuzzles his face in Doyoung’s chest.

It takes a while before Doyoung asks, “What do you do when you feel restless?”

Jeno thinks about it, considering his experiences related to restlessness and distress. “I try to walk it off or hug anyone close to me,” he answered.

“I sometimes even let it be, because eventually, it will dissipate,” Jeno continued. Doyoung takes in everything, as if he didn’t study psychology to understand what’s going on with him.

Doyoung only proceeds to hug Jeno tighter, tight enough for him not to choke or get hurt.

“Thank you, Jeno,” Doyoung blurts. “You and Jae always calm me down somehow. Anyhow, really,” he states. “You’re welcome, hyung~nim,” Jeno says in return, as he caresses Doyoung’s waist and back, leaving a small peck on his cheek.

Doyoung also leaves a small peck on Jeno, breaking off the hug and getting up, as he goes to the kitchen to get water again.

He drinks one glass of water and gets surprised with a back hug again, presumably from Jaemin.

“Hyung, are you alright? Jeno and I got concerned, so he went up to go to you. How are you?” Jaemin asked politely.

“Aigoo, thanks for your concern, Jaeminnie. Yeah, I’m fine now. You hugging me gives me even more comfort and relief, so thank you.”

Jaemin reacts with a big smile, nuzzling his face on Doyoung’s nape and leaving a small peck, tickling Doyoung a little and making him smile.

Jaemin lets go and explains, “I have to prepare and leave for work. Unfortunately, I was tasked to work from 7:00 pm to 3:00 am.”

Doyoung is surprised at Jaemin’s shift, knowing how he’s already eaten dinner and is sleeping at that time.

“Good luck then. Text me when you want something to eat, oki?” Doyoung says assuringly. “Sure will, hyung~nim.” Jaemin agreed.

Doyoung hugs him one more time and leaves a small peck on his cheek before he leaves, as Jaemin goes to Jeno to bid him goodbye. After Jaemin leaves, Doyoung then prepares for his date.

He pulls out a black turtleneck shirt, slick black pants, and leather shoes. He styled himself well for the date, to which he grabbed a cozy jacket just in case he gets cold.

Jeno comes into his room to see him. “You look stunning, hyung~nim,” Jeno praised. “Thank you, Jeno.” Doyoung thanks him solemnly.

He gives Jeno a tight hug and a small peck on his cheek, caressing his arm while doing so.

“Do me proud, hyung,” Jeno tells him. “I will,” Doyoung states. He prepares to leave with Jeno, who’s also about to leave for some leisure time. They leave together, then go their separate ways.

**XI. Shock Factor**

‘What if they were tipsy?’ Renjun thinks to himself. ‘I couldn’t possibly kiss both of them. So who?’ He’s been thinking about what both Doyoung and Jaehyun told him.

Question is, are they both true? Jun knows they can’t get drunk, because they have to tend to their hangover and wastedness.

Renjun is an artist, a painter; he loves making abstract expressionism art, and what he’s feeling now could be a great idea, knowing how he has a passion for anything that could be made into art.

He starts by hanging up a canvas on his stand, preceded by white paint as its base. He lets it dry a little, and he gets interrupted by a knock on the door.

Whoever that could be could kill time for Renjun before the white paint settles. He knows he’s going to be asked for or talked to, because he’s the only one in the art studio.

“Annyeong, Renjun~shi.” He greets brightly. It’s Shotaro, a dance major preparing for a competition.

The building where they both work at has many studios for the performing and creative arts. It ranges from the many genres of art, dance, theater, opera, and many more.

“How are you? You stormed off yesterday, so I assume something was off,” Taro asks. Renjun remembers how he reacted to what Doyoung told him, leading him to get red.

“Oh, it was because of work. I had a client who shortened the deadline of the artwork he wanted me to paint.” Jun answered.

“Oh. Are you fine now? You can tell me if something’s bothering you.” Taro assures.

Jun feels happy to have someone to vent his concerns and problems, but maybe he’ll tell Taro on a different day… “Yeah. I’m fine now. How’s your dance practice going?”

Shotaro has a hip hop dance competition to tend to. He’s one of the best students in the dance department in general; his knowledge in different genres of dance made him unique and creative with how his body moves, appealing to his dance instructors.

“It’s going well. The moves are quite tiring, but I’ll get used to it. Also, those drinks we had were ‘helpful’ somehow,” Taro answered.

Jun suddenly remembers what Doyoung told him, making him wheeze. Taro gets confused and asks, “What happened?”

Jun answers, “I just imagined you dancing hip hop to a ballad song. Sorry.” This makes Taro imagine as well, making him laugh aloud, also making Jun laugh louder… at him. ‘Sorry, Taro! I could only imagine…’

Shotaro receives a message from one of his crew mates, telling him stretching is about to start. “Oh, I gotta go now. See you later, Renjun,” Taro bids. “Annyeong, Taro,” Jun bids as well.

Their conversation was just enough time for the white paint to settle, making Renjun grab his brushes, paint, a bucket of water, and a slightly damp cloth.

He starts by stretching his upper body, releasing any tension, cracks his neck and knuckles, and proceeds to paint.

He starts by adding splotches of gray, portraying confusion. He then adds strokes of true blue, portraying a sense of loneliness; followed by petal-shaped cherry red, representing love.

Renjun coughs a little; although, he continues to paint. He adds hints of white to portray emptiness.

He continues to add petal-shaped red, even adding some orange and yellow to accentuate the red; also adding lighter shades of blue to slightly ombre it with the true blue.

He proceeds to wash his brushes for now, going to the comfort room in doing so. He individually washes each brush and replenishes his bucket of water, again, still coughing.

Feeling weak, Renjun comes back to his studio. His coughing gets worse, making him fall to the floor, scattering his brushes, also spilling his bucket of water. ‘Huh?’

**XII. Ready or Not**

Doyoung is waiting in Starbucks, and he’s already bought Taeyong’s favorite: sweet potato cubes. He prepares himself, calming his cheek bones from rising too much. After drinking some Hibiscus Tea, Taeyong enters the cafe.

Doyoung instantly smiles, as Taeyong meets his eyes and goes to his table. “Annyeong, hyung~nim!” Doyoung greets cheerfully. “Annyeong, Doyoung~ahh,” Taeyong greets sweetly.

‘I haven’t heard that in a while’ Doyoung tells himself. “By the way, here’s your favorite snack,” he hands Taeyong his favorite snack.

Taeyong’s eyes immediately sparkle, as he appreciates Doyoung. “Oh? Thank you, Doyoung~ah!! I’ve been wanting to snack on this.”

Doyoung smiles wider, as Taeyong sits across him, letting them catch up a bit.

Doyoung has been waiting for this moment. He waited long enough to finally meet up with his friend. And within that long wait, he caught feelings.

He plans to reveal his feelings through dinner, hoping it won’t ruin their friendship if he turns him down.

After emptying their beverages, they proceed to walk in the mall. They happily exchange stories, ‘til they both see a familiar face.

Doyoung squints a little, only to recognize that someone. “Jaehyun?” he questions. “You know him?” Taeyong asks. “Yeah. We’re cousins,” he answers. “Wait. You know him?”

Taeyong stutters to find the right words, saying, “Well… about that…”

Jae finally catches up to them. “Annyeonghaseyo, hyung~nim.” Doyoung is dumb-founded, but replies, “Annyeong, Jaehyun~ahh.”

He thinks about what happened a while ago. He said he had work… but he’s in the mall? Right now? They must’ve met in a cafe or restaurant, he supposes.

He notices Jae looking at Taeyong, while he avoids looking at both of their directions. He just looks down to his shoes, fidgeting his fingers.

What Doyoung is picking up is that Jaehyun and Taeyong are friends, afraid to reveal it to him. As his friend, Taeyong has never been introduced to Jae or Jeno.

After enough eye contact, Jaehyun speaks. “Do you remember when I told you about having a boyfriend? Well, Taeyong’s my boyfriend!” Jae declares, cheerful.  
‘Huh’

“We kinda wanted to ‘test the water’ if you may, starting with you! Taeyong was afraid whether anyone would accept him or not, so we at least wanted you to know.”

Doyoung is in such a state of shock; he almost completely blacks out; he didn’t want to remember a thing. He couldn’t let them find out his devastation, so he immediately masked it up.

“Really? I’m happy for the both of you!! Come on, tell me about how it happened through dinner!”

He can’t believe it’s Taeyong. Doyoung wants to cry right then and there, but just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He doesn’t want Jaehyun to feel regret nor tension; he knows better.

“Teppanyaki?” Jae asks. “Sure,” Doyoung and Taeyong answered.

Doyoung could only tag along with them. The very least he could do is accompany them to avoid scandals made between them.

He couldn’t help but follow them from behind, seeing how happy Jae is and how comfortable Taeyong gets. ‘That could’ve been me…’ He looks at them, as they smile at each other, laughing at corny jokes.

They enter Teppanya, then seat themselves. “How did it start?” Doyoung asks as cheerfully as he could.

“Well, it was cheesy, how it happened. It was a tiring day of practice, and I passed out in a convenience store; thankfully, Jae was there. He stayed beside me even though he could’ve pretended not to notice me. I woke up, and he was there, eating ramyeon. He bought me ramyeon and cider as well. After that, we’ve been in touch.” Taeyong answered.

“I was concerned, seeing him at the convenience store. I didn’t have a lot of work to do, so I stayed by his side, getting work done there. He felt like he needed to repay me somehow, so I asked for his number. At first, it was just him asking me when I was free to grab a bite, then we got to know each other, and little by little, we grew feelings.” Jae continued.

“Is that so? That’s great to hear and know!” Doyoung says. ‘Do I even know Taeyong?’

“To be honest, I was afraid of committing. I was depressed by all the hate I got that every decision I made carried a huge amount of doubt. Thankfully, Jaehyun was there for me. He’d be all ears for me, even making time for me,” Taeyong confessed.

Doyoung sees Taeyong’s vulnerability again. ‘So I was second to Jaehyun. The runner-up. Always the runner-up. The one that’s behind, just a step late. I actually barely know you… now do I’

_‘You no longer need me  
I want you more  
Even if this reality is heavy and rough  
I love you, I love you  
With all my heart  
Share me your wounds  
I’m running to you now  
Because all of my moments  
Want you’_  
**-No Longer by NCT 127**

Doyoung is the best at masking emotions, so he continues to ask questions about how their relationship came to be, and every now and then, he coughs.

**XIII. 119?!**

Shotaro realizes Renjun hasn’t texted back. He’s sent about five messages in a span of his thirty-minute break, so he assumes he’s concentrating.

Finally, it’s time for Taro to go home, so he goes to Renjun’s studio. ‘Hm?’

He notices something off. There’s water going through the door of Renjun’s studio, leaving a small puddle.

He doesn’t stop, so he immediately opens the door, dropping his sweaty clothes. He sees Renjun coughing white substances, to which he goes immediately to Renjun.

“Renjun?! What happened?!” Taro asks. Renjun coughs harder, trying to speak. “Come on, I’ll get you to the nearest hospital,” Taro says, as he brings Renjun to stand up and put him over his back.

‘When did this happen?’ Taro asked himself. He was totally fine when they talked, but somehow, he’s coughing. ‘Damn it, Taro! You don’t have time to ask questions!’

The people make way for Taro, as he runs across the building floor and into Renjun’s car. “Where’s your car key?” Taro asks restlessly. Renjun points at his left pocket, leading Taro to get it.

He gets Jun’s car key, opens the car, and safely puts Renjun on the passenger’s seat. He goes to the driver’s seat hesitantly, knowing he could possibly get behind bars.

‘Do I?’ Taro asks himself. He cuts off his train of thought. ‘I can’t waste time.’ Taro starts the engine and proceeds driving.

Taro tries his best not to violate the rules in driving; he can’t afford wasting time and delaying Renjun from getting to the hospital.

He risks getting detained or going behind bars, because even though he has a driver’s license, it was when he still lived in Japan.

He can’t read hangul properly yet, so taking the written test for a driver’s license in Korea would be his hardest obstacle before the actual driving test.

“Renjun~ahh, everything will be fine. Please, stay with me,” Taro assures. Though Jun wants to speak, he’s choking on his cough, gradually getting worse.

Taro finally gets into the hospital and rushes Renjun to the ER, carrying him. “Nurse? Nurse!” Taro shouts. He gets everyone’s attention, and he realizes.

“Mister, I’m sorry. There are over twenty injured people right now that we are tending to. A truck ransacked into a bus full of passengers,” A nurse apologizes and explains.

Taro is in complete distraught, seeing how all the beds are filled with injured patients. “We can get you an ambulance and direct them to the nearest hos—”

“I’ll tend to him,” Someone cuts the nurse off. Taro and Renjun take a look at who spoke, only to see their friend, Jaemin. He’s a surgeon who specializes in cardiothoracic surgery.

“Get him to the OR,” Jaemin commands the nurse. “I’ll get him diagnosed there and if needed, surgery.” The nurse immediately follows him.

The nurse can’t stop him, because he is the chief of surgery of his respective Department. It is biased of him to do this, but he can’t afford to lose a friend right now.

“Shotaro, I’m sorry, but you can’t come in. You might become a distraction,” Jaemin explains to Taro firmly. “It’s precautionary.”

“I understand. I’ll wait here…” Taro answers. They immediately put Renjun on a hospital bed and roll the bed to the OR.

‘Live. Breathe…’ Taro thinks to himself, praying.

**XIV. Aftermath**

“Let’s watch a movie together, shall we?” Jaehyun asks cheerfully. Taeyong is excited, as this is their first time watching a movie together.

“Uhm… I think I’ll go home,” Doyoung tells them, followed by a cough. “I’ve been coughing a lot lately, and I wouldn’t want to risk getting both of you or myself sick.”

“Are you sure?” Taeyong asks. “Yes,” Doyoung answered. “Well then, we can’t stop you, now can we?” Jae realizes. “See you later then, hyung.” Jae bids.

Before leaving, Doyoung gives Jae a hug and a small peck, asking him to take care of Taeyong. “Take care, of yourself and Taeyongie, oki?” Jaehyun nods, smiling.

He sees Taeyong look at them, marveling at their relationship. Doyoung contemplates a little, but nevertheless…

“May I?” This is bold of Doyoung to do, opening his arms and hoping Taeyong would abide, but he wastes no risks. “Sure,” Taeyong answers, as he opens his arms.

Doyoung approaches him, meeting halfway, and they embrace each other, feeling each other’s body, something Doyoung has been wanting to do and feel since he garnered feelings for Yong.

“Thank you for everything. Helping me, Comforting me, Giving me advice. I owe you a lot, Doyoung~ah.” Taeyong appreciates Doyoung, hugging him tighter.

Doyoung feels a bit at ease since coughing, so he gets a little more bold. He gives Taeyong a peck on the cheek.

He expects nothing but for Taeyong to back off, though he also gives Doyoung a peck. “Saranghae, Doyoung~ah.”

Doyoung gets emotional, hearing those words from Taeyong. He breaks off the hug and bids them a great viewing.

“Enjoy the movie, newlyweds!” Doyoung shouts, forgetting the fact that Taeyong could be found out to be in a relationship.

Jae and Taeyong laugh at his joke, as they bid, “Rest well!” Doyoung goes home and leaves the mall.

_‘Get better day by day  
Get better day by day’_  
**-Wind Flower by MAMAMOO**

‘I’m happy for them,’ Doyoung tells himself. He can’t be jealous over someone who’s in a relationship, and of all possible people, his cousin. He’s in no place to get angry, but right now, he just wants to vent.

He gets home and enters his room, putting down his phone. He goes to his bed and lies down, crying out his emotions for Taeyong and coughing after every teardrop.

“Taeyong~ah!” he exclaims.

“You’ve been holding up well! I hope you learn to stop acknowledging unnecessary people in life! I really hope you live a great life with my cousin, Jaehyunnie! 

“I hope you get to know my cutest cousin, my samoyed, Jeno and his loving boyfriend, Jaeminnie. They are my precious atria, a reason to breathe. I promise that you’ll be very welcomed in this household!”

Doyoung shouts his heartfelt sentiments, coughing harder after every sentence. He couldn’t stop coughing though, and suppressing it only makes it worse. He couldn’t even find the strength to stand up.

‘I can’t… breathe…’ Doyoung thinks to himself, choking up. He couldn’t believe it, so what was the reason?

‘Jaehyun~ahh… Jeno~yahh… Jaemin~ahh… Taeyongie… I love you all…’ he thinks to himself.

All he could think of now is how his future could’ve been, thinking how beautiful it would’ve been had he not met his unfortunate present.

‘Is this how I die?’ Doyoung asks himself, yet with enough willpower, he musters enough strength to open his drawer, getting some papers out. He couldn’t find the right one though, spreading the paper on the floor, as he met his unfortunate demise…

**XV. Operation: Save Renjun**

Renjun only coughs louder, seeing what seems like petals come out one by one. He finally is in the OR, only to get shocked as he sees Jeno there as well.

“Renjun? RENJUN?!” Jeno asks himself. “What happened?” Jeno asks Jaemin. “Taro saw him on the floor, coughing, and brought him here.”

They proceed to wear surgical gowns, although not yet needed. Jeno is a pulmonologist, with an ample amount of knowledge on surgery. He’s been able to help Jaemin twice in surgery, giving Jaemin the tools he needed.

“Let’s get an x-ray. It must be his lungs,” Jeno concluded. They roll the bed near the x-ray machine, Jun getting a bit dizzy even though they rolled the bed slowly.

Jeno immediately checks Renjun’s chest, getting him to stand up next to the machine, but because Jun’s legs are giving up on him, Jeno and Jaemin had to help Renjun stand up.

They get an x-ray, and lay Jun back to his bed. As soon as Jeno got the x-ray plate, he stopped, unable to figure out what to diagnose Renjun. “I… I don’t know what to diagnose him with… This is… new.”

‘Why… For how long has it been? Here I am, suffocating in front of the couple I admire… or love? Maybe Donghyuck was right… But who…’

Renjun coughs louder than ever, crying at how helpless he has become. He accepts what his predicted reality is, as he stares at the ceiling, wondering what he could do, ‘til he was moved by something.

“YA! HUANG RENJUN! JEBAL! PLEASE, STAY WITH US,” Jaemin shouts, as he hugs him tight. Jaemin cups his hands around Jun’s face, gently touching his forehead against his, as he prays for Jun.

“HUANG RENJUN! JEBAL! PLEASE, HANG IN THERE,” Jeno shouts, grabbing his hand tightly. He holds Jun’s right hand, putting his forehead against it and giving small pecks, as he also prays for Jun.

Renjun is touched, knowing damn well nothing will work. Somehow, he gets to speak for just a moment, only saying these words, “Saranghae. I love you both, dearly.”

Jaemin and Jeno hear his confession, now telling him what they’ve always wanted to.

“JUN~AH. WE LOVE YOU, TOO. WE’RE SO THANKFUL FOR YOUR EXISTENCE. YOU’VE HELPED US GROW AND MATURE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM YOU SHARE WITH US AND OUR FRIENDS.” Jaemin states, crying.

“YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE WE GO TO FOR HELP. YOU’VE BEEN THE ONE WE’VE GOTTEN TO KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. YOU EVEN REMIND US THAT WE HAVE A REASON TO BREATHE.” Jeno states, holding Jun’s hand tighter.

Renjun cries harder, coughing as he hears Jaemin & Jeno’s sweet words. But again, nothing will work.

_‘I need your warmth  
It tells me that I’m alright  
I need you, I need you’_  
**-Without You by NCT U**

‘Can’t live without you’ Renjun thinks to himself. At this point, he’s silent; he doesn’t speak anymore.

Silence creeps in with only the whimpers of Jeno and Jaemin heard. It’s deafening, until Jaemin stops, as Jeno looks up at Renjun.

“He’s… he’s?” Jeno mutters. “He is…” Jaemin confirmed. Jun has passed away, in front of Jaemin and Jeno’s eyes.

They feel a heavy burden, not knowing how to react anymore. They silently cry, looking for each other’s embrace. They feel each other’s pain, seeing their friend pass…

‘I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry… I couldn’t save him…’ Jeno and Jaemin think to themselves. Their friend…

Shotaro has been waiting for a while now, waiting for either Jaemin or Jeno to exit the OR door, and he finally sees Jeno.

“Oh— Jeno? What happened?” he asked. Taro realizes how red Jeno’s eyes are, knowing it’s not good news.

Taro enters the room, only to see Jaemin seated on a chair, looking at Renjun who has a bloomed daffodil on his mouth. Taro falls to his knees, holding back his tears.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t save our friend,” Jaemin asked for forgiveness. Taro hears that and cries, mourning at Jun’s death.

They feel the sadness and pain in Taro’s crying, making Jeno and Jaemin cry again. They try to comfort Taro, as he exclaims.

“Hanahaki. Hanahaki Disease.” This gets Jeno and Jaemin confused, not knowing what Taro had just said.

“I thought it was just a fictional disease; although, I suppose it happened to Renjun. He must’ve had unrequited love. You see, if the victim suffers from it, the victim coughs up flower petals, blooming a flower and ultimately dying.”

Jeno and Jaemin are stunned, not even knowing who Jun loved, but they couldn’t stress about that now…

Jaemin reports and records Renjun’s death, as Jeno continues to console a traumatized Shotaro.

After calming down, Shotaro leaves the hospital, needing to go back to his dorm, as Jeno calls Jaehyun, asking him to pick him up at the hospital. Jaehyun had just finished his movie date with Taeyong and had already parted ways.

Jaehyun comes to the hospital, concerned at Jeno’s state of mind, knowing something’s off. He goes inside the hospital, immediately finding Jeno who’s seated in the ER.

“What happened?” Jae asked Jeno. Before answering, Jeno hugs Jaehyun, tighter than usual. Jaehyun lets him be, consoling him and rubbing his back.

“Renjun passed away,” Jeno blurted. Jaehyun gets shocked, not knowing what to say. “I- U… I’m sorry,” Jae apologizes. Right at the corner of his eyes, he sees Jaemin passing by.

“Jaemin~ahh!” he shouted. Jaemin recognizes Jaehyun’s voice, finding where he is. He goes to Jaehyun, embracing him as well. He tries to hold back his tears, but fails, crying again.

“Hyung~nim. I couldn’t save Renjun. He was a dear friend, and I couldn’t even save his life,” Jaemin confesses. Hearing this, Jeno cries again.

“There, there. It’s fine to cry. I wouldn’t know what to do either… I… I just hope you find comfort in me,” Jaehyun tells them.

They hug for a while, then break it off after. Jaehyun hugs Jaemin one last time, giving him a small peck and rubbing his back a little. He puts his head against Jaemin’s, cupping his hands on his cheeks.

“Be strong for me, oki?” Jaehyun asks Jaemin. “I will. Thanks, hyung~nim. Jal ja.” Jaehyun and Jaemin break off the hug, as Jaemin approaches Jeno.

“Jal ja, No~yah,” he bids and kisses him. “See you in the morning, Jaeminnnie,” Jeno bids. Jae and Jeno proceed to leave the hospital, as Jaemin goes back to work.

**XVI. Aftershock**

Jae and Jeno finally get home, resting on the couch for a bit. It’s been a tiring day for Jeno, having worked from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, going home, getting tired from his not so leisure walk, and staying at the hospital again to accompany and help Jaemin.

“You should rest. You’ve been tired since this morning,” Jaehyun suggested. “Yeah…” Jeno replied.

They notice how Doyoung hasn’t noticed them, knowing how he wakes up at doors being opened or closed loudly, so Jae goes on to check on him.

Jae walks to Doyoung’s door, opening it. He is welcomed by scattered papers on the floor, trailing his eyes to Doyoung’s bed.

Jae… Jae is in disbelief. He couldn’t believe what he’s seeing. It’s Doyoung with a bloomed Violet on his mouth.

“Hyung?” Jae asks, but no reply… “Hyung??” He asks again. “Hyung~nim? Doyoung hyung? Kim Doyoung? KIM DONGYOUNG? HYUNG?!”

It doesn’t take long ‘til Jeno shows up and sees what Jae sees. It’s the same sight that he saw when Renjun passed, except with a different flower.

“HYUNG? HYUNG? HYUNG~NIM?!” Jae continuously asks, as Jeno falls to his knees, crying silently. First, his friend, and now, his cousin. ‘Why me? Why us? Why them? Why now?’

Jaehyun goes to the bed, shaking Doyoung. “HYUNG!!! JEBAL! WHY NOW? WHY WHY WHY…” Jae wails, tears dropping on Doyoung’s face and the flower.

Jeno could only cry and stare at them both, not knowing what to do anymore after losing two precious people in his life, right after his birthday of all days.

Jeno then looks at the papers he’s been kneeling on, noticing one that’s particularly standing out. He gets it, seeing a letter addressed to himself and Jaehyun.

“Jae hyung… There’s a letter… for the both of us…” Jeno says depressingly. After getting Jaehyun’s attention, he reads it.

_Annyeong,_

_Hey, it’s Doyoung who wrote this letter. You know it’s me, right? Of course you do. You know me in n out anyways. I don’t know how I’ll be able to give this letter to any of you, but I hope you find or get it. This is my last wish, if I die unknowingly._

_Claim the money that’s left in my bank account. I leave it up to you what you’ll do with it, whether to buy what you want or donate some or all of it, which I hope you could decide on swiftly. If my organs are healthy, please do donate them. I hope donating my organs could save someone's life. Do it as soon as possible, so that my organs won’t rot in the process._

_Now, be strong for me, oki? I know it’ll be hard without me, but life isn’t fair, right? Always be healthy and live a long life, longer than mine. Don’t force yourselves when times get tough, and always, always, have each other._

_Jeno~yah, you now have Jaemin. Jaehyunnie, I hope you find someone that’ll love you more than ever. Above all, the both of you have each other to rely on, oki? Saranghaeyo, Jeno, Jaehyun, Jaemin. Oh and by the way, cremate me. See you when you get here. I’ll be waiting with a hug ready._

_All the Love,  
Kim Dongyoung_

“It’s his final wish,” Jeno finished. Jeno stands up, embracing Jaehyun, as they cry in disbelief and sorrow.

They couldn’t do anything, knowing that death is inevitable. They comfort each other, rubbing each other’s back and leaving small pecks, anything to comfort each other.

It’s already 4:00 am, and Jaemin has just got to their apartment. He’s greeted with depressed faces in the living room, making him confused. It’s as if they both had a fight and couldn’t move on.

“What happened? It’s already 4 in the morning?” Jaemin asked. Jeno and Jaehyun point at Doyoung’s door, not even looking. Jaemin looks and then walks to Doyoung’s door, and trying to knock, he opens it.

Jaemin sees Doyoung’s body with a flower of a different color on his mouth, similar to how Renjun passed away.

He stares, covering his mouth. This time, he’s shocked and couldn’t speak. He silently walks up to him, kneeling beside him. Jaemin holds his hand, pressing it against his forehead.

“Hyung~nim,” he speaks up. “I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve lost two precious people in my life, and I couldn’t even save one of them,” Jaemin confessed, breaking down.

“I’m so, so sorry, hyung~nim. I— HYUNG~NIMMMM,” Jaemin wailed.

“I’m thankful that you and Jaehyun hyung accepted me. You’ve always helped me, whether you’re giving me food, physically and emotionally comforting me, or keeping me in your arms.

“You are one of the most hospitable and genuine people I've ever met and gotten close to. Welcoming me with open arms when Jeno introduced me? I cried because of that. Getting to know you? My greatest achievement. Being affectionate with you?

“My word… I— I couldn’t believe I couldn’t tell you this sooner…”

Jaemin bows his head, banging it on his bed. Before it gets any worse though, he takes one last look at Doyoung before leaving, praying for his soul.

He goes back to the living room, still seeing how depressed Jeno and Jaehyun are. Jaemin gets both of their attention, opening his arms for them to go to.

They stand up, going for Jaemin’s embrace. Jeno nuzzles his face on Jaemin’s shoulder, as Jaehyun puts Jaemin near his chest, also trying to comfort him.

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin blurts. Jeno and Jaehyun hug him tighter, finding comfort. It takes a while before they break it off. Jaemin leaves a kiss on Jeno’s forehead, then a peck on Jaehyun’s cheek.

“We should sleep for now, then book a wake and funeral,” Jaemin suggests, wiping off the last few drops of his tears.

They proceed to Jaehyun’s room, as they prepare to sleep. Jaehyun gets the futon for Jaemin to sleep on, while Jeno sleeps beside Jaehyun. Jaehyun sleeps with Jeno in his embrace, spooning him, while Jaemin clasps hands with Jeno, as they all fall asleep.

“Everything will be alright. Jal ja…” Jaehyun assures and bids, yet pain is tainted in his voice.

**XVII. Farewells and Introductions**

All their dearest friends are attending. Shotaro, Hyuck, Yangyang, Ten, Kun, and a few acquaintances. Seemingly enough, Renjun’s wake is beside Doyoung’s, so they all mourn for their deaths.

Some could be seen crying, reflecting, mourning, or even holding back tears. Jaehyun is seen seated on a chair, staring at Doyoung’s coffin.

“Jaehyun~ahh…” someone suddenly calls. He recognizes his voice. “You came…” Jae goes to him, embracing him.

“Sicheng~ahh… It was all too unfortunate…”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Jaehyun and Sicheng have been friends for the longest time, keeping in touch through chat. Sicheng works in China, but for Jaehyun, he cancelled all his plans for the week to comfort and accompany Jae.

“I’ll be here for you and Jeno. Don’t worry too much… I guess…” Sicheng assured.

“You’ll stay?” Jae asks. “Yes,” Sicheng replies. “Thank you…” he thanks underneath his breath.

After a few more moments, they break off the hug, as Sicheng speaks. “I’ll go to Renjun’s wake for now. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Sure,” Jaehyun replied. He watches Sicheng leave, as he sits back down on a chair, still staring again at Doyoung’s coffin.

He stares blankly, eyes tainted with sadness. He just gets caught up in his feelings, crying again. He feels so helpless and hopeless, wishing Doyoung would be beside him right now, comforting him.

“I’m sorry,” someone blurts again beside him, catching Jae’s attention. It’s Taeyong.

“Yongie…” Jaehyun whined sweetly. He hugs Taeyong, finding comfort again.

It’s been a physically, emotionally, and mentally stressful week for Jaehyun and Jeno, both being the most affected by Doyoung’s demise, and the same could be said for the kids for Renjun’s demise.

“I feel awful that I couldn’t get to know Doyoung better, only knowing he’s ‘fine,’ or so I thought…” Taeyong confessed.

“We’ll get to see him… someday… in the afterlife…” Jae answered silently. “You’ll get to know him then…”

“Hyung,” Jeno calls Jae’s attention. “Who’s that?” he asked. Jae breaks off the hug, looking at Jeno. He smiles, as he introduces, “He’s Taeyong, my boyfriend.”

Taeyong and Jeno meet each other’s eyes, excited. Jeno marvels at Taeyong’s beautiful boba eyes, while Taeyong marvels at Jeno’s expression, kind of like a dog ready to run to his owner.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Taeyong hyung,” Jeno greets, bowing. Taeyong stands up, greeting him as well. “Annyeonghaseyo, Jeno.”

Suddenly, Taeyong opens his arms, hoping Jeno comes to him. Seeing his action, Jeno remembers how Doyoung would always do this.

He swoons, as he goes for Taeyong’s embrace. It’s warm, very comforting. “I hope I get close with you, Jeno,” Taeyong confessed. “Nado,” Jeno agreed.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Taeyong blurts, rubbing Jeno’s back. “It’s— it’s… it’s inevitable…” Jeno stutters.

They break off the hug, only for someone to back hug Taeyong all of a sudden. “Huh—”

“You must be Jaehyun hyung’s boyfriend, hm? I’m Jaemin, Jeno’s boyfriend. I hope to get to know you well.”

Taeyong is surprised, but comfortable. “Yeah, I am. I also hope to get to know you well, Jaeminnie.”

Hearing ‘Jaeminnie’ reminds Jaemin of Doyoung, knowing that this is how Doyoung calls him.

Jaemin lets go of Taeyong, this time embracing Taeyong in front, a bit tighter than the back hug. Taeyong feels happy, getting accepted by Jeno and Jaemin.

They let go, as Taeyong gets slightly emotional. “We’re sorry you couldn’t get to know Doyoung more… but we’re more than ready to tell everything about him!” Jeno and Jaemin exclaim.

Taeyong smiles, knowing how they both love Doyoung dearly. They bid him goodbye, leaving and going to Renjun’s wake, while Taeyong finally takes a look at Doyoung.

He looked at him, but couldn’t even look longer than five seconds, ‘til he speaks to himself…

‘Doyoung~ahh… It’s hard to move on when you’re just about to enjoy a hard working yet rewarding life. I could’ve known you better. Not knowing what you’re going through was my biggest mistake…

We could’ve enjoyed each other’s company if you were still breathing. Your cousin, Jeno, and his boyfriend, Jaemin, already seem to accept me and want to get to know me, which I thank you and them for.

It’s just so unfortunate, seeing you like this… I hope to see you when death overpasses my life in this race. Saranghae, Doyoung~ahh.’

Taeyong blows a kiss, as he goes back to Jaehyun and sits beside him.

In Renjun’s wake, you could see Hyuck crying his eyeballs out, while Yangyang tries to comfort him. Shotaro is also there, still traumatized.

Sicheng is also there, seated at the end of the room. Jeno and Jaemin are sitting on a chair, mourning over Jun’s death.

It’s devastating, knowing that all of them are close with Renjun and with each other. Suddenly, Hyuck walks up to Jun’s coffin, crying louder and kneeling.

“Renjun~ah… Mianhae… Mian… Mian. MIANHAE! FOR BICKERING WITH YOU. FOR CAUSING YOU STRESS. FOR NOT ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR YOU. I’M SO USELESS AS A FRIEND. AS YOUR FRIEND. I— MIANHAMNIDA, HUANG RENJUN.”

Hyuck blames himself, choking on his tears. It’s not even his fault, none at all. Yangyang comforts Hyuck, sitting him down, as he calms him down with kisses and a long hug.

It’s a pain-inducing day in the wakes of Renjun and Doyoung, and even more devastating when the three days are up.

Three days have gone, and both Renjun and Doyoung will now rest eternally. Renjun’s coffin gets buried in a cemetery, while Doyoung’s remains get cremated, his organs already removed and preserved, while some have already been donated.

They bid Renjun one last goodbye, visiting him when they have free time. As for Doyoung, his urn is in Jaehyun and Jeno’s apartment, always remaining by their side.

It’ll take time for everyone to adjust, seeing two people die of the same cause… but in life, we have to move on and forward.

**XVIII. The Afterlife**

A garden of flowers. It’s filled with wisterias and lavenders, very purple if you may. In another area of the garden, there’s cherry blossoms, both white and pink. Truly, it’s pretty for a place in the afterlife.

Doyoung is in a bed of violets, dressed in a purple suit, accentuating his collar bones. He wakes up, seeing the wisterias. 

As Doyoung opens his eyes, he looks at his surroundings. ‘Ipuda’ he thinks to himself, then he looks at his suit. ‘How royal’

Doyoung rises from his bed of violets, as he wanders around the afterlife. He doesn’t even question where he is, because wherever he is, he doesn’t want to know but just wants to explore.

It’s eye candy, seeing all the beautiful flowers. He marvels at its beauty, identifying the flowers he recognizes and fascinating over the ones he doesn’t know of.

He walks towards a white garden, filled with white roses. He walks inside, as if he were being mind-controlled, marvelling at its simplicity.

Doyoung appreciates the beauty of white, as he dives in the middle of the garden.

Surprised, he sees Renjun dressed in white, looking like an angel in a bed of daffodils. Looking at him, Doyoung thinks to himself how cute Jun looks.

“Kyeopta” he blurts. Apparently, it was after he said that that Jun woke up.

Doyoung sees the innocence of Jun, just staring at him, as he sits up. He looks around, seeing the beauty of the white garden, then he sees Doyoung.

“Doyoung hyung?” Jun asks. “Annyeong, Jun~ah.” Doyoung answered softly. “Where are we?” he asks. Doyoung is taken aback, remembering he died. ‘Wait, so Renjun…’

“The afterlife, I assume.” Hearing Doyoung’s answer, Jun realizes, “Oh… You- So you did as well, huh?”

“Yeah… But hey, we do have each other now, don’t we?” Doyoung reassures Jun. “Yeah… We sure do…” Jun answers, stuttering.

Awkward tension builds after what Doyoung had just said, but… 

“Aing?” Doyoung suddenly blurted. “Oing?” Jun blurted back. They sustain short eye contact, until they laugh to cut out the tension and eye contact.

“What was that?” Jun asks in confusion. “I don’t know? I just wanted to clear the tension. That’s all,” Doyoung answered.

After their short conversation, Jun finally stands up from his bed of daffodils, as he takes a step closer to Doyoung.

“Hyung”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Same here. I’m glad to be with someone even in the afterlife.”

**Silence**

“Hyung”

“Hm?”

“You’re making it awkward.”

Doyoung laughs aloud, hearing Jun’s confession. Though there’s this awkwardness between them, it’s enough for both of them to walk together, even with a distance in between them.

They keep walking, wandering around the beauty of the gardens they pass by. Through walking, Doyoung gets to know Jun a bit more, hearing him praise the beauty he sees.

“The Sampaguitas smell so pleasant. Oh! Look at the water lilies by the pond! Too bad I couldn’t take photographs of it…

“The orchids are taking my attention away. Hyung, please guide me. I might fall in a ditch or something.”

Doyoung stares at Jun for a while, marvelling at the angel that Jun is, until he suddenly blurts, “Jun~ah.”

Doyoung gets Renjun’s attention, making him turn to his direction, as he hugs Jun. Renjun is caught off guard, gasping at his sudden action.

He holds Doyoung by the arm, almost wanting him to let go, but doesn’t. He feels warmth, a feeling of safety and comfort in his embrace.

“Jun~ah, I know we’re not that close, but I had an urge, so please, bear with me for a moment,” Doyoung confessed.

Jun doesn’t answer, to which Doyoung notices, breaking off the hug. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, as he continues to walk.

Doyoung walks further than Jun, looking around to kill the tension he built again, but stops.

He receives a back hug from Jun, also catching him off guard. Jun’s arms are across Doyoung’s waist, securing him. 

Doyoung tries to look at Jun, but Jun’s face is nuzzled in his back. He looks back in front, smiling at his cute action. 

“Doie…” Jun stumbles on his words, making a new nickname. “Doie? That’s cute,” he chuckles. “What is it?”

Jun breaks off the hug, as Doyoung faces him, proceeding to hold hands.

“Let’s not leave each other’s side… This feels… warm,” Jun confessed. Doyoung looks at Jun, making eye contact.

Jun blushes at Doyoung’s expression, seeing his gummy smile protrude. He proceeds to hug Jun again, saying, “Never.” Doyoung’s arms are across Jun’s neck, while Jun’s arms are across Doyoung’s waist.

“Doie…”

“Hm?”

“Saranghae”

“Nado. Saranghae, Jun~ah.”

They smile at each other, as Doie leaves a kiss on Jun’s forehead, making Jun blush, as he nuzzles his face in Doyoung’s chest.

Doyoung brings Jun closer to his chest, securing him, reassuring that he’s safe in his arms. He’s glad to have Jun beside him.

They now continue wandering around the afterlife, holding hands, as they praise the garden’s beauty, having more than enough time to get to know each other.

It’s unfortunate, how they couldn’t live life ‘til they’re old. It’s unfortunate, how they couldn’t even bid goodbye to their loved ones. It’s unfortunate, how they couldn’t even confess their unrequited love.

Nevertheless, maybe… just maybe… in another life, they’ll meet their destined partner. One that can comfort and support them through thick and thin. One that will love them inside and out. One that they could confess to.

It’s cheesy, but love’s corny, right? Kidding aside, let time take its place. Maybe even in the afterlife…

_‘In another life, I will be your love  
We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world  
In another life, I would make you stay  
So I don’t have to say you were the one that got away  
The one that got away’_  
**-The One That Got Away by Katy Perry**

**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve read until the end, then I thank and appreciate you!! Here are the slight references of ate bee’s works: friday nights & in the moon’s wake.
> 
> I don't know how to link her other work which I referenced, but it's titled in the moon's wake!!
> 
> I hope to release more works in the future!! Also, if there are readers that want to react to my work, please qrt my work with your reaction or dm me if you want to on twitter, I don’t have cc yet hehe. Again, thank you!


End file.
